


Living Out Songs

by ShirayukiSayaka



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Based on a Parachute song, Car Accidents, Character Death, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst (Just to be sure), Homophobic Language, M/M, Makes use of plenty of songs, POV Alternating, Song Lyrics, Songfic, side 2hyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-18 11:32:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13099209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShirayukiSayaka/pseuds/ShirayukiSayaka
Summary: "I love you forever, Forever and always. Please just remember even if I'm not there... I'll always love you, Forever and always"- Forever and Always by Parachute





	Living Out Songs

**Author's Note:**

> HEAVILY BASED OFF OF PARACHUTE'S FOREVER AND ALWAYS  
> If you know the song and its lyrics then you know how this goes and you know how it ends. 
> 
> To those who don't know the song, you can listen to it or maybe listen to it as you read this... whatever this is
> 
> Also sorry in advance for updating a fluffy chaptered fic to a sudden posting an angsty one-shot lolz

 

[ _"I love you forever, Forever and always_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJcmZ-mL-TI)  
[ _Please just remember even if I'm not there_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJcmZ-mL-TI)  
[ _I'll always love you, Forever and always"_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJcmZ-mL-TI)

[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJcmZ-mL-TI)

 

* * *

 

 

 

_The world was spinning._

 

_Wasn’t he just on the way to the restaurant down the street? He was fully prepared. Bouquet of Seongwoo’s favorite carnations in hand and a pleasant surprise safely tucked into his pockets. He remembered crossing the street along with a kid who held a soccer ball in his hand. And then… and then…_

 

_...then what?_

 

_The next thing he knew, he couldn’t move no matter how hard he tried. Why was the world so blurry? No matter how much he blinked, his vision wouldn’t focus. Was someone calling to him? He couldn’t tell, even as he can make out a silhouette of someone calling out to him, he couldn’t hear them over the constant buzzing in his ear._

 

_Everything felt painful, like a thousand needles simultaneously pierced into his skin. He couldn’t breathe. He could barely twitch his finger. Suddenly, he felt like he was floating. Were those people trying to carry him away? He wasn’t entirely sure, but he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer as his vision slowly faded to black. The name ‘Seongwoo’ being the last word that left his lips before his vision was completely consumed by darkness._

 

~ .oOo. ~

 

One hour.

 

It’s been an hour since Seongwoo arrived at the restaurant where he and Daniel were supposed to meet. Anyone else would have been mad, but Seongwoo has always been patient when it comes to Daniel. He understands how urgent matters may suddenly come up considering how Daniel now holds a high position in the company he works in. The only thing wrong was that Daniel would usually tell him if anything occurred, a quick call and even a text would suffice.

 

But he has yet to receive anything.

 

_Maybe his phone died,_ Seongwoo thought to himself since it wouldn’t be a first. So he remained hopeful, fingers nervously fiddling around with the objects on the table such as the utensils, the leaves of the centerpiece, the edges of his large pullover, and his fingers. His eyes would unconsciously dart around the restaurant, probably looking for any sign of a tall broad-shouldered man but there were still no signs of said description or a new arrival of a car on the parking lot.

 

_It’s getting pretty late._ Seongwoo thought to himself, but he refused to move until he heard from Daniel. Something didn’t sit right with him the longer he waited but he prayed that what his instincts were telling him was wrong. In the end, he shrugged it off as a stomach ache and leaned back in his seat, eyes fixated on the huge window hoping to catch a mop of pink hair.

 

Seongwoo started to space out, thoughts drifting to any potential scenario or reason since Daniel has never been this late. Amidst the silence of his table, Seongwoo was snapped out of his thoughts when an all too familiar ringtone snapped him out of his thoughts. No doubt, it was the customized tone he set for Daniel. Seongwoo hastily took out his phone and true enough, Daniel’s number was flashing on the screen.

 

“Daniel! Where are y―”

 

“Is this Ong Seongwoo?” Came a deep unrecognizable voice making Seongwoo raise an eyebrow. “Um, yes. And who might this be?”

 

“This is Dr. Lee from the Seoul National University Hospital. You were set on Mr. Kang’s speed dial as the number one contact” Seongwoo was speechless, why does a doctor have Daniel’s phone? “You need to come to the hospital, now.”

 

“I-I’m sorry? I don’t understand―” Seongwoo’s hand trembled but the doctor’s next words made him drop his phone on the floor as his heart sank.

 

“Mr. Kang was hit by a car, he’s in critical condition”

 

~ .oOo. ~

 

_They were still in college when Daniel first asked him out. In fact, it was during Christmas Eve when Daniel finally gathered the courage to ask him out._

 

_It was an ordinary winter day, nothing special or extraordinary as he strolled the streets of Seoul since he was asked by Daniel to stock up the fridge. Both were quite far from their families and they decided to stay in the school dorms so they only had each other to spend the holidays with. Daniel gave him a list of things to buy and as he expected, it seemed more like a list for Daniel’s midnight snack in the future. Instead of it containing things they actually needed to cook to survive the next few days without Jisung and Minhyun. The list was basically filled with different brands and kinds of gummy candy and ramyun._

 

_Seongwoo took his time looking for things they actually needed like dairy products and some produce and protein before he actually bothered to follow Daniel’s list. “This list is ridiculous yet it screams Daniel” He muttered to himself as he gave the list another once over. Although he also loves ramyun, he also believes they can’t just resort to living off of ramyun like any broke college student since he could cook a few dishes he learned by helping out in the kitchen._

 

_By the time he was finished, he checked his phone and apparently it took him at least an hour to buy everything from the grocery. Hopefully, Daniel didn’t wait too long. Luckily, the dormitory was just a few streets down so it didn’t take long for Seongwoo to reach the building. For all he knows, Daniel probably didn’t notice the time since he might have been immersed in another one of his computer games._

 

_Out of habit, Seongwoo’s sends a quick text to Daniel to wait for him by the door since he was already at the entrance of their building. Their dorm building only had three floors but they still ended up on the top floor which required a lot of physical strength for someone like Seongwoo._

 

_After his tiring climb up the stairs with plastic bags on both hands, Seongwoo took a moment to catch his breath before making his way to their door. Fortunately, they were the only ones left in the building (except for the maintenance staff) so the entire atmosphere was quiet. Well, that was until he heard a faint melody coming from their door._

 

_What’s Daniel up to now? He doesn’t usually play these songs._

 

_The moment he’s by the door, the melody becomes more distinct and was now easily recognizable._

 

_“I might never be your knight in shining armor_

_I might never be the one you take home to mother_

_And I might never be the one who brings you flowers_

_But I can be the one, be the one tonight”_

 

_No doubt, it was ‘Perfect’ by One Direction. “Daniel?” He softly called out as he placed the plastics by the door and removed his shoes. The whole dorm was dim with only candles providing light as it was strategically scattered around the dorm enough to shed light on the floor. Seongwoo looked to his right at the common area of their dorm room and found the speaker where the music was coming from at the very center._

 

_Seongwoo was overwhelmed. What’s going on? There were two long strings of polaroids attached from wall-to-wall in the middle of the room, one hung lower than the first. He couldn’t understand what was happening but he continued to walk further and carefully looked at each Polaroid. The polaroids were of photos he never recalled seeing before but they were either photos of him alone or him with Daniel. After looking at each one, he passed underneath the strings to avoid touching the polaroids and was about to check the kitchen for Daniel when the mirror by the wall caught his attention._

 

_The hung polaroids each had something written behind them. Seongwoo turned back and looked at each one. The first ones were basically captions for the photo like ‘You looked handsome here’ or ‘I just felt like taking a  photo of you that day’ but slowly, the captions transitioned to confessions and untold thoughts that Daniel had from ‘I used to think you were just my best friend’ to ‘You were the one who shed light in my once dark world’. At this point, Seongwoo couldn’t say a word and he barely noticed that ‘Perfect’ was actually on repeat._

 

_“I might never be the hands you put your heart in_

_Or the arms that hold you anytime you want them_

_But that don't mean that we can't live here in the moment_

_'Cause I can be the one you love from time to time”_

 

_When Seongwoo got to the last polaroid, the back of it had a different item from the rest. It was the Polaroid of him and Daniel laughing together that contained a folded up note taped on the back. Seongwoo carefully removed the note to avoid damaging the polaroid and opened up the paper._

 

_“Yeah so um, Hi? This is so awkward I’m sorry_ _―”_

 

_Seongwoo chuckled, typical Daniel._

 

_“This may be confusing to you now, I myself am too and I literally wrote this while you left to buy groceries. Also, that was intentional. I had to make you leave to prepare for all this so I’m sorry for that too. So… Obviously, this is all for you. My best friend, the only person who has been there to approach me when I was still a lonely freshman from Busan and was usually made fun of because of my accent. No one believed I dance either and yet you were so excited to know that someone else besides you loved it too._

_You were always there since we met and not once did you judge me for who I really was. You found out I dance, yet you hyped me up and said how you dance too. You found out how I always talk to myself, but instead of judging, you said it was adorable and even went on how it’s a sign of being healthy. You found out about my sleeping habits, but you never complained and instead found a way to adjust just so you could cuddle me on stormy nights. You’ve done so much for me and I think that’s what truly made you beautiful more than your visuals._

 

_I’ve always dreamed of meeting someone who wouldn’t judge me, someone who would love me because I was Kang Daniel. Now, I’ve thought about it a lot so I have no doubts._

 

_It was you._

 

_It has always been you, and I was just too slow to notice._

 

_You were basically the answer to my wishes and you cannot believe how happy I was when I came to this realization. Because you’re Ong Seongwoo, my best friend, a partner in crime, and hopefully I can call you mine.”_

 

_At this point, Seongwoo was beyond speechless. So many emotions were hitting him all at once that it all turned into a chaotic swirl of feelings he couldn’t comprehend. Yet he has that urge to just jump into Daniel’s arms and hold him tight for all eternity just to tell him how important he was, how much he cared about him, and how much he deserved to be loved. He looked back at the paper and saw that there was still at least one paragraph that he hasn’t read._

 

_“This… Wah, I didn’t think I would be able to write something like this, it’s crazy how love makes you do things you didn’t know you can. I’m still a bit of a coward, so I couldn’t tell you all this face to face. If you think you’re still going to love this coward despite everything… then feel free to enter our shared bedroom.”_

 

_Seongwoo wasted no time. In an instant, he practically ran and threw the door open and was greeted by a similar sight of being surrounded by candles and a certain Kang Daniel who stood in the center of it all. He didn’t know why, but his initial reaction was to cry. His eyes started welling up with tears until they finally streamed down his face._

 

_Daniel held a carnation in his hand, hands all fidgety around the stem and eyes wide with shock as Seongwoo bursts the door open. Honestly, he didn’t think this through. He didn’t think Seongwoo was going to accept at all and yet, here they are. “Hey,” He started, “... I didn’t think you’d actually come.” Daniel cleared his throat and knelt down on one knee which has Seongwoo taken aback and was about to talk when Daniel beat him to it. “Please, just let me finish while I still have the courage to do this.” Seongwoo immediately clamped his mouth shut afterward and Daniel took a deep breath._

 

_“Just as how obvious the notes said it, I want you. Not just today or tomorrow but I wish to be your forever and hopefully be your always. Like any other relationship, we’ll probably have our ups and downs but I am determined to overcome them all if it meant being able to grow old with you. Call me naive, I don’t care. They usually think feelings are temporary, but I have never felt so passionate about something―or rather, someone―to the point that I want you as someone I’ll have with me my whole life and hopefully we can grow old together.”_

 

_Daniel sucked in another shaky breath, “Accept me or not, I just wanted to say that I love you and I always will. Forever and always”_

 

_Seongwoo chuckled with tears threatening to fall, “You’re an idiot” He whispered before he threw himself to Daniel and wrapped his arms around Daniel’s neck with his face buried in Daniel’s shoulder. “Of course, I would still love you. I always did. You didn’t have to doubt it.” Seongwoo murmured against his shoulder but Daniel got every word and now he just felt like the luckiest man alive. Daniel wrapped his arms around Seongwoo’s waist and held him in a tight deadlock hug for no words could possibly explain how happy he felt at that very moment._

 

_“You know…” Daniel started and has Seongwoo leaning back with a confused expression, “There’s a saying that during Christmas, you need to kiss when you’re under a mistletoe.” The latter looked confused, “What does that have to do with now?”_

 

_“Well..” Daniel scratched the back of his head and looked up, Seongwoo followed his gaze and his eyes landed on the mistletoe tied to the ceiling. “Huh, what do you know…” Seongwoo said with a fond smile as he looked back at Daniel who shyly smiled back, “You sure planned everything out” Daniel sheepishly chuckled with another scratch on the back of his neck, “I wanted to make everything perfect”_

 

_Seongwoo chuckled as he lovingly brushes the back of his hand on Daniel’s cheeks, “Perfect or not, I would have loved you the same like how I loved you and your imperfections.” Daniel has never felt more relieved and loved. Gently, he held Seongwoo by the cheek who also does the same and inches closer, breath tickling each other’s lips. “I love you” Daniel whispers as he closes the gap and seals his confession with a kiss._

 

~ .oOo. ~

 

In all 23 years of his life, Seongwoo has always been what others would consider a model driver. However, today was going to be the exception as he speeds through the highway in a careful manner to avoid being in an accident himself. Daniel was in critical condition and Seongwoo was afraid that something else might happen that could lead to undesired scenarios. He prays that nothing goes wrong and maybe even the slightest chance that this was just a nightmare and wake up in Daniel’s arms.

 

After he finally reached the hospital premises, Seongwoo hurriedly found a parking spot and rushed over to the front desk. “I’m looking for Daniel, Kang Daniel,” He said in between breaths and the lady immediately calls for two doctors, the ones who were overseeing Daniel’s condition and treatment. The doctors shook his hand and briefed him about Daniel’s current status while leading him through the halls. But Seongwoo was too afraid, afraid of Daniel’s current status that he wanted to get there as fast as possible yet the corridors seemed like an endless maze that stretched on for eons.

 

The doctors could sense his distress as he frantically looks around the corridor specifically at the room numbers to know if they were getting closer or not. Although they were trying to explain Daniel’s current status and how they shouldn’t worry, their words fell on deaf ears. No matter what they said about ‘ _Mr. Kang doesn’t have much time left’_ , Seongwoo believed they were wrong. Daniel was okay, he was sure of it. They continuously navigate through the endless white corridor until finally, they stopped in front of a room where the nameplate clearly reads “Kang Daniel” in large black letters.

 

The doctors have long been used to emotionally wrecked visitors so they left him by the door to emotionally prepare himself and enter on his own accord. It was always never easy to be on the receiving end of these kinds of news. You’ll always be left wondering if they’ll ever make it out alive while desperately clinging to the slim chances that they do. But Seongwoo wasn’t desperately holding on, he strongly believed Daniel was okay and that he was going to live.

 

Seongwoo thought he would be brave enough to enter as soon as he arrived, but his hand hovers over the doorknob that was now a mere inch away. Only then did it sink in that he was not, or rather he was never mentally or emotionally prepared for what he could possibly see on the other side of the door. Though he was praying that he would see Daniel’s smile, the reality is not always all unicorns and rainbows. When he finally gathered the bravery to turn the knob, he slowly made his way inside and closed the door behind him. Just as he turned to face Daniel, the sight that greeted him made his heart sink.

 

Daniel, the very love of his life, laid lifeless on the bed and completely pale from head to toe. As if those weren’t enough indicators of his state, the multiple machines hooked up to him just emphasized the ‘critical condition’ status he was in. The room was completely devoid of sound that they could hear a pin drop if they tried, only the steady beep of the heart monitor kept the room from absolute silence. Yet, it pains Seongwoo to hear how his heart rate was slower than usual.

 

Seongwoo took a shaky step towards the bed, followed by another until he eventually reached the chair by the side of Daniel’s bed. He carefully studied Daniel’s face, now with bandages on his cheek and small cuts littering other parts of his face. Seongwoo has never felt so heartbroken but this was enough to crush his heart into a million pieces. Slowly, he raised a trembling hand and reached out to cup his face hoping that he would wake up from this nightmare once he made contact with Daniel’s cheek.

 

Alas, his hopes were just crushed further as his hand cupped Daniel’s cheek without a problem and that was enough for him to reach his breaking point. Every ounce of emotion broke down as he slumped his shoulders, both hands holding onto Daniel’s as if it was the very lifeline that would keep him alive. The tears streamed down his face as he sobbed into Daniel’s hand that he tightly held in his own, praying that the latter would open his eyes as he continuously murmurs his pleads.

 

As if by a stroke of luck, he felt the fingers twitch and his head immediately snapped up to Daniel’s face. Seongwoo has never been more happy to see those chocolate brown eyes no matter how hidden they are behind Daniel’s half-opened eyelids. If anything, it just made him cry harder. He would much rather hug Daniel right now, but the risks are too high with all the equipment and injuries that are not visible to the naked eye.

 

The pink-haired male blinked a few more times to finally adjust to the bright light of the room and slowly scanned the area with slow head turns until his eyes eventually landed on Seongwoo’s trembling form. Seongwoo was beyond relieved, this was the very reassurance he needed. The very fact that Daniel was alive was all he needed to breathe while Daniel himself shed a few tears of his own. “I’m sorry..” He started, voice all raspy and low as he struggled to speak. Seongwoo was quick to retaliate the statement with firm shakes of his head as he tightened his hold on Daniel’s hand.

 

“No, you d-don’t have to be… I’m just... Glad you’re alive…” He replied with a small smile playing on his lips as he places cups Daniel’s hand on his own cheek. “You’re going to be okay,” Seongwoo whispered as more tears, those of relief, streamed down his face. “You’re going to be okay…” He repeated to himself as if it was the only statement that kept his sanity in place.

 

Everything in Daniel’s body hurt and making the tiniest move already served as a huge struggle. Yet, he made an effort to move his thumb on Seongwoo’s cheek to wipe off the tears that continuously streamed down his face, “Don’t cry…” Daniel whispered that it only makes Seongwoo hold on tighter, “As long as you’re alive, then I won’t” Seongwoo replied and Daniel gave him a weak smile, “Of course I won’t let myself die easily..” He tried to put on a strong front, but his body just wasn’t as strong.

 

Daniel took another deep breath, “We still have to fulfill our promises, right?” Seongwoo smiled amidst the tears that continued to stream his face. “Of course, we planned on adopting two children, didn’t we?” Daniel slowly nodded, “Don’t forget the house. It should be near a hill so we’re sure that not everyone passes by, like a secluded part of the world to ourselves.” The smaller male smiled yet it barely reached his house. “Of course, how could I forget.”

 

~ .oOo. ~

 

_“Did you ever think what our future would be like?” Daniel once asked out of the blue that it has Seongwoo tilting his head, “You mean what would happen after we graduate?” He asked, “No,” Daniel replied in less than a second, “I mean when we get married,” Seongwoo most definitely didn’t see that coming, but now he was reduced to a blushing mess. “That’s… That’s quite sudden.”_

 

_It was during their overnight college trip in the mountains when they first talked about anything related to the future. They and the other part of the class just arrived before the other bus did which gave them plenty of time to explore the area. Most of their companions chose to check out the lake, but they decided to just walk around and take a breather._

 

_“So you’ve never thought about it before?” Seongwoo shook his head, “Well, did you?” He asked and Daniel looked at him with a cheeky smile, “Well, I tried to picture it once.” Seongwoo raised an eyebrow, “What was it like?” He asked as he continues to walk backward in front of Daniel, “You might bump something if you keep walking like that” Daniel said as he saw some rocks and twigs ahead but Seongwoo only pouted, “Don’t dodge the question.”_

 

_“I first thought of our own apartment in Gangnam, but then I instantly changed my mind when we got here.” Seongwoo hummed, “What changed?” Daniel pointed to a nearby hill, “I thought how better it would be to live somewhere a little more … secluded. Far from the fast-paced cities we grew up in. Somewhere like…” Daniel looked around until his eyes landed on a particular hill. “There.”_

 

_Seongwoo followed his finger and his eyes landed on the same hill, “A house on the hillside?” Daniel nodded in affirmation. “It has its own appeal, doesn’t it? We get to surround ourselves in nature away from the buzzing noises of Seoul, no polluted dust in the air, and even large fields where we can lay down or play with kids” Seongwoo stopped in his tracks and it has Daniel worried if he said anything wrong. “Sorry, did I… did I say something wrong?”_

 

_“Ah, no it’s just…” Seongwoo paused and contemplated his next words, “I didn’t think you thought about kids too.” The pink-haired male blinked and suddenly blushed at his words, “A-Ah… Well… Did you want to? Adopt children I mean. Sorry, I never mentioned so I didn’t know_ _―”_

 

_“I actually did.” Daniel probably released his biggest sigh of relief, for a moment he thought he scared off Seongwoo with that thought. “I actually thought we’d adopt around two kids at most. Just thinking about it feels… very domestic” Daniel smiled, “So, that’s our dreams for the future! Hopefully, we can adopt two kids and earn enough for a house on a hillside where we can feel like we’re in our own world. Grow old together and hopefully love each other just like how we do today. And maybe―”_

 

_Seongwoo tripped over a few rocks and twigs and almost fell on his back if it weren’t for Daniel who was fast enough to grab him by his arm, “― Remind you about how walking backward is only going to hurt you in the end. See? I told you earlier and you didn’t listen to me.” He nagged and Seongwoo was suddenly reminded of their older friend Jisung._

 

_“At least I’ll be sure there’s someone to look after me in the future.”_

 

_“Of course, whether we become rich or poor, I’ll always love you. Forever and always.”_

 

~ .oOo. ~

 

The doctors and nurses came to check on Daniel after one of the nurses found out Daniel was already awake, Seongwoo couldn’t immediately call them since he was still basking in his own relief. Unfortunately, Daniel still had to be monitored. His conditions were still borderline critical. While Seongwoo had to stand by the side to let the professionals do their work. The ‘95 liner sent a quick text to Minhyun about where he was and why he was there earlier. Afterwards, only then did he look at the contents of the room.

 

Daniel’s bed was by the corner beside the large window with white curtains minimizing the sunlight that filled the room. Behind him was of course the various hospital equipment that was connected to him to monitor his body activity as well as his IV drips. By the opposite side of the bed was a small couch, at least large enough for someone to sleep on when they curled up. The last thing that he noticed was the small bedside table directly beside Daniel’s bed that had various items on top.

 

_Probably items that Daniel possessed when he was hit._ He thought to himself.

 

The very first thing he spotted was a bouquet of now battered red carnations, Seongwoo’s favorite that Daniel obviously took the liberty to take note of. Daniel’s phone with its screen now cracked that he thought it may just be a miracle if it still worked. What caught his attention was another battered object but not something people would usually bring on a daily basis.

 

_Is that…_

 

Seongwoo sucked in a breath, he blamed it on the tears for not being able to see it clearly. But now that he focused his gaze on the battered object, there was no mistaking it. It was a small red velvet box. Although completely deformed, the box was similar to those used in marriage proposals. Seongwoo didn’t want to assume, but Daniel kept saying that today was going to be special and he wasn’t told why. Seongwoo doesn’t know how long he stared at the small object, but it was long enough for him to realize that the doctors were already gone and he had another round of waterworks coming.

 

“Seongwoo…?” Daniel called out, voice barely going above a whisper. Seongwoo snapped out of his thoughts and slowly made his way over to the chair where he sat down earlier. “Daniel…” He started as he hesitantly reached for the red velvet box to bring it to Daniel’s attention. “... What’s this?” He hesitantly asked, hands shaky as Daniel weakly reached for his with a smile playing on his lips. “Ah… Now the surprise is ruined” He simply said and Seongwoo was left speechless.

 

“Today…” Daniel started, voice still weak and shaky. “Today was going to be special… but now, you know the surprise. So I guess it’s ruined.” He chuckled to himself but not once has it reached his eyes. “You…” Seongwoo felt another wave of tears stream down his face as he tried to get his words out, “...You were going to propose?” Daniel only smiled, “I was ready to call you my forever” In just eight words, Seongwoo broke down the second time that day.

 

“I thought about it a lot,” Daniel sucked in a shaky breath, “How our future was going to be both good and bad… how we’ll grow old together… a-and how we promised we’d love each other, no matter what h-happened…” Seongwoo’s tears continued to fall as he once again holds onto Daniel’s hand, his very lifeline at present.

 

“Sorry… I c-couldn’t do it t-today…”

 

At this point, Daniel started to tear up as well. Because he knew very well, that the chances were slim. He himself could feel it, he was running out of time and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He was so frustrated, his Seongwoo was right there and he just wanted to hold him and tell him to stop crying. But he couldn’t, not when he needs all the energy he can get if it meant staying another minute with who should have been his lifelong partner. But he won’t let himself spend it being sad, he promised to keep Seongwoo happy ‘til his last breath and that’s exactly what he was going to do.

 

“Hey…” Daniel started with a more visible smile now playing along his lips. “Remember… How we said we’d live our lives like songs?” Seongwoo chuckled at the thought, “We even picked out specific songs, didn’t we?” Daniel smiled knowing his efforts were lighting up the mood even the tiniest bit. “Can you sing them for me? The Boyce Avenue one would be nice.” Seongwoo smiled and let out a deep sigh before he started the first verse to Boyce Avenue’s ‘Heaven’.

 

Daniel closed his eyes as the very familiar melody filled his ears. Seongwoo couldn’t stop the shakiness in his voice, but Daniel understands and he appreciates Seongwoo’s efforts for trying to control it. Despite the shakiness in his voice, it’s still as beautiful as Daniel remembered. It’s been awhile since he heard the other sing but he always loved it when he does. ‘Heaven’ was just one of the few songs they dreamed of living out. For Daniel, it was because of the second verse.

 

_Oh once in your life you find someone_

_Who will turn your world around_

_Bring you up when you're feelin' down_

_Now nothin' can change what you mean to me_

_Oh there's lots that I could say_

_But just hold me now_

_'Cause our love will light the way_

 

Heaven is what other religions believed to be a paradise, a place of no pain and suffering. To Daniel, he already found Heaven in a person who goes by the name Ong Seongwoo. Ong Seongwoo, who has accepted him for who he is and who has loved him after everything they’ve been through, was Daniel’s definition of Heaven. The very person who turned his world upside down when he was just a lonely college freshman who was secretly passionate towards dance despite being in the engineering department.

 

Daniel would always smile, but he wasn’t entirely sure if it were genuine or if he would smile for the sake of smiling. Yet Seongwoo takes away his doubts and makes him feel more like himself, no facades or acts, just Kang Daniel. He didn’t need any more reason to say that Seongwoo was his life, that he would do anything for the man that changed him for the better. But for now, he couldn’t do anything else but hold onto Seongwoo’s hand that desperately clung to his as he sung with eyes glistening with unshed tears.

 

“Your voice is as beautiful as always,” Daniel mutters as he opens his eyes and looks back at the love of his life. “Then I’ll keep singing if you love it so much” Seongwoo replied with a light joking tone that has Daniel smiling, “Can you? Please?” He weakly begged with his eyes doing all the work of how much he wanted Seongwoo to, but Seongwoo was willing to do so either way. “Which one do you want me to sing next?” Daniel hummed until a reminiscing smile graced his lips, “How about my confession song?”

 

Seongwoo chuckled as a nostalgic smile graced his lips, “Ah, how could I forget? You set it on loop after all.” Again, he took another deep breath to try and stabilize his voice as much as he can. With his hand tightly clasped around Daniel’s, he starts the first note.

 

_I might never be your knight in shining armor_

_I might never be the one you take home to mother_

_And I might never be the one who brings you flowers_

_But I can be the one, be the one tonight_

 

_I guess it became my favorite song for a short while because I could relate to it so much._ Daniel thought to himself as he watches his boyfriend effortlessly sing the lyrics. He hasn’t always been confident that he can indeed protect Seongwoo from the harshness of reality when it was, in fact, him who saved Daniel first. Yet, Daniel always seemed to be Seongwoo’s comfort zone at night and that was enough for him as long as Seongwoo found home in his presence.

 

_When I first saw you_

_From across the room_

_I could tell that you were curious,_

_Oh, yeah_

_Girl, I hope you’re sure_

_What you're looking for_

_'Cause I'm not good at making promises_

 

_Well, I guess it was this line that hits home but it was the other way around_. It was Seongwoo who saw him first and became curious because he was the unsociable kid that didn’t keep conversations up for long (probably why the other students found him strange). The last lines were also quite relatable and yet it reminds him of how much he changed. Daniel could barely keep a relationship such as friendships going but Jisung managed to be his longest friend. Promises were not an exception either, he couldn’t even recall the last time he kept a promise.

 

Yet, here he is. Daniel, who used to reject promises, pledged his own life to love the very person who brought him out of the ditch he didn’t know he stayed in. The Daniel of the past probably wouldn’t understand, but he is glad to be who he is now. Unlike before, he now has Seongwoo to look after him and someone Daniel needs to look after too. Seongwoo didn’t finish the whole song, just until the first chorus was enough but Daniel was more than satisfied.

 

“This is nice.” He said out of context and Seongwoo looked perplexed but he was used to Daniel’s random rambling anyway. “You, me, jamming to random songs that held meaning to us… It’s nice. I’m sure our future would have had these moments too.” _Mr. Kang doesn’t have much time left._ Those words haunted him ever since he entered the room, yet he strongly believes the doctors were wrong. He believed they were wrong, but one cannot deny the inner demons that would continue to plant those dark thoughts and it makes Seongwoo scared. Scared that he was going to leave this hospital alone.

 

“You know,” Daniel started that snapped Seongwoo out of his negative trance. “I planned everything out again.” He said as he tightened his hold on Seongwoo’s hand with the last bit of strength he had left. “I already talked to the restaurant beforehand when I went there for the reservation.” Daniel had to take another deep breath. _Ah, it’s getting harder…_ “I asked if they could play Jason Derulo’s ‘Marry Me’ when I gave them the cue… But I guess it didn’t work out.” He finished with a weak chuckle.

 

And that’s when it hit Seongwoo.

 

Call him crazy, but it just seemed right at the moment.

 

“I-I’ll be right back,” He said with a quick peck on Daniel’s forehead. “Please wait for me…” He whispered before he darted out the door leaving a confused Daniel behind. Seongwoo didn’t want to think it was going to be Daniel’s last but… He wanted to be safe than sorry. He didn’t want Daniel to bear regrets. If Daniel does make it out of here alive, then they can have a formal celebration for it later. Right now, they needed a mock ceremony. Just like how Daniel would’ve wanted if he didn’t get in that accident.

 

Seongwoo ran to the chapel, every hospital had one and this hospital had theirs on the bottom floor. The queue to the elevator was too long so he ran down the stairs. _Daniel can’t wait any longer._ Seongwoo tried to catch his breath as he saw the chapel by the end of the corridor where the chaplain was polishing the religious relics displayed on the shelves. Luckily, the chaplain was alone so Seongwoo had no problems negotiating with him. Despite homosexual relationships being looked down on, the chaplain was kind enough to understand. It was for the sake of love, who was he to judge?

 

Seongwoo thanked him and gave them Daniel’s room number telling him to wait outside until he got back. The only thing he needed was the most important part of it all— the rings… but where was he going to get that? He was getting frustrated by the second. Daniel was waiting for him and he can’t make him wait for long. _Okay, calm down. Think. Daniel is waiting. You can’t waste time getting an attac_ _―_

 

“Seongwoo?”

 

The said male almost got a whiplash with how fast he turned his head and came in contact with Hwang Minhyun with Jonghyun. Seongwoo remained silent as his eyes found the matching rings they had in their intertwined hands. “I―...um yeah… Hi” Minhyun raised an eyebrow, “How is he doing? Or rather… how are you holding up?” Seongwoo focused his gaze on the rings. _Would it even be okay? Would Minhyun understand? I mean, it’s a precious thing for them. Isn’t it?_

 

“Seongwoo…” Jonghyun started, noticing how his gaze doesn’t seem to leave their intertwined hands. “Did you need something?” Seongwoo immediately snapped his back at their eyes, “Ah― Well. I can’t possibly, it might be too important for you guys.” The couple looked at each other looking equally confused. “What did you need?” Minhyun asked and it has Seongwoo fidgeting with his fingers.

 

“W-Well I… I was um… I was wondering if I could borrow your rings” He shyly muttered as Minhyun raised an eyebrow, “Our rings? What for?” Seongwoo scrambled for an excuse but he was too pressed for time he couldn’t conjure up a reason convincing enough for it. “I-I can’t explain it right now but I swear I’ll return it. Just for a while, please?” Minhyun has never seen his friend so desperate and thought it might have been that important for him to resort to this method. He glanced at Jonghyun and he could tell he also understood so he gave a small nod before looking back at Seongwoo.

 

“Here.” He simply said as he slips the ring off his finger and Jonghyun followed afterward. Both placing their rings on Seongwoo’s shaky hands and Minhyun swears his friend’s eyes were welling up with tears. “T-Thank you. I’ll be sure to return it when I can” Was the only thing he said before he once again ran up the stairs to make his way back to Daniel’s room.

 

“...Do you think it’s Daniel?” Jonghyun whispers as he and Minhyun watch their friend run back up the stairs. “There’s a chance it is” Minhyun sighs as he holds onto Jonghyun’s hands and intertwines their fingers together. “C’mon, we have to consult the doctors about Daniel. I don’t think Seongwoo wanted to listen to them earlier.”

 

Meanwhile, Seongwoo has already made it back to the corridor and he immediately caught sight of the chaplain waiting for him outside of Daniel’s room. He took a deep breath and wiped off the sweat from his forehead to regain whatever stamina he had left. He needed his voice for this. Seongwoo made his way to the chaplain, once again thanking him for sparing some time to do this.

 

Seongwoo took another deep breath to calm his shaky breath and held a ring in each palm. He raised his head and once again looks at the door with Daniel’s name before he turns the knob as he sings the first note.

 

_105 is the number that comes to my head_

_When I think of all the years I wanna be with you_

_Wake up every morning with you in my bed_

_That's precisely what I plan to do_

 

Daniel has never moved so fast even as he gradually becomes weaker. There by the door stood Seongwoo who slowly entered the room as he sings to Jason Derulo’s ‘Marry Me’, what should have been Daniel’s proposal song and the pink-haired male couldn’t help but tear up all over again as Seongwoo continues to sing.

 

_And you know one of these days when I get my money right_

_Buy you everything and show you all the finer things in life_

_Will forever be enough, so there ain't no need to rush_

_But one day, I won't be able to ask you loud enough_

 

Daniel only picked out this song because it’s what he aspired to be for Seongwoo in the future. He wanted to be the one Seongwoo could rely on despite being the younger one of the two. He wanted to relieve him of his burdens and show that he could sometimes rely on Daniel too and he wouldn’t have to suffer alone. And, of course, the very part of the song that he himself wanted to say in which Seongwoo sings with a slower melody.

 

_I'll say will you marry me_

_I swear that I will mean it_

_I'll say will you marry me_

_How many girls in the world can make me feel like this?_

_Baby I don't ever plan to find out_

_The more I look, the more I find the reasons why_

_You’re the love of my life_

 

Daniel didn’t notice when tears started to stream down his cheeks, “Y-You didn’t have to do this…” He weakly whispered but Seongwoo shook his head as he once again holds Daniel’s hand in his. “For you, I’d do anything.” The chaplain proceeded to say a few verses of those related to marriage before he eventually blessed their relationship and proceeded to leave. Seongwoo was more than thankful for the kind chaplain as he offered a deep bow to show his respects while the chaplain pats his back as he makes his way out of the door.

 

_“What’s going on?”_ Came the voice of passersby he happens to overhear as the chaplain makes his way out.

 

_“Aish, just more faggots being overdramatic”_

 

_“Seriously? What a waste of time..”_

 

_“Ridiculous.”_

 

Came the swirl of negativity but Seongwoo had better things to worry about as he makes his way back to Daniel’s side with both rings on his hand. “You’ve always been so sweet and open about how you feel towards me and not once did I let you know about mine.” He said as he lovingly intertwines his hands with Daniel’s “So now, it’s my turn” Daniel just continues to look at him with such love that it has Seongwoo’s eyes welling up again with tears.

“Remember when I approached you first? You were such an awkward kid back then, only talking when people approach you because you were always teased about your Busan accent. But I was a part of the small minority who actually found it amazing… and maybe I also found it quite hot since you had such a deep voice when you spoke in dialect.” Daniel chuckled as he holds onto Seongwoo’s hands like a lifeline. “And then, I found out you loved to dance. Heck, you were even a b-boy to boot. We had different styles and genres and yet we manage to click well when we dance together it’s amazing.”

“When you sent me out on that late night Christmas grocery shopping, I thought your list was really amusing because it reflected you so well. I’d usually tell you jellies are jellies yet you would argue that each was different and it had to be separated per brand. I didn’t think I’d return to the confession of the century though.”

“That night… That night was the highlight of my life. You could hardly believe how happy I was inside but I was so happy when you gained the courage to confess everything when I’ve been thinking about how for the past weeks and maybe even months. In the end, I wasn’t even sure if I could confess at all but you decided to be the brave one out of us and we finally got to be together.”

Seongwoo bit his bottom lip and wiped off his tears with the back of his hand, “T-Then college came and I… I remember all the stress we’ve been through. How we almost broke apart and how I cried myself to sleep thinking that I could never find someone as loving as Daniel. But then we happen to have the best set of friends who managed to sort everything out and now here we are. Staying strong for the past eight years.”

“But now, I wanted to go further with you. I’m ready to become your forever and hopefully your always. I want to continue to love you through thick and thin. When we go down this unknown path, I want to hold your hand because I know we’ll be there for each other. I would protect you and you’d look after me like how you always have. We’ll achieve our dreams, that future we planned out until we get all old and wrinkly we can’t even break dance anymore. Then through it all, I’d still look at you and think that ‘Yes, this is the man I chose to spend my life with. This is the man who became my forever’. I love you, I always do and I always will.”

Seongwoo, who now had tears streaming down his face, carefully slips the borrowed rings into Daniel’s finger who looks at it which such love as he re-intertwines their hands. Daniel wanted to shout. To scream just how much he loved the other man, but his body was getting weaker that keeping his eyes open was becoming a struggle on its own.

In the silence of the room, Seongwoo could clearly make out the slow beeping of the heart monitor. How Daniel was slowly loosening his hold and he couldn’t help but cry harder as reality was harshly pushing itself on his feeble mind. Daniel who felt weaker than ever, took in another shaky breath as he tightened his hold for what would probably be the last time.

“S-Seongwoo..” Daniel started, breathing becoming shallow and voice so low it borders on inaudible. “You know … I’ll always love you, right?” The said male nodded as he holds Daniel’s hands in his own, “You’ll never… forget me, right?” Seongwoo vigorously shook his head. “Please don’t do this.” But Daniel only gave him a sad smile as the beeping becomes slower, “Even if I’m not here…” Daniel struggled as he tried to finish, “I’ll always love you.. forever and always”

“Daniel, please. Stop. D-Don’t do this.” Seongwoo desperately begged but Daniel’s eyes were already looking unfocused. “Ah… We ended up living out the wrong song, didn’t we?” Despite being weak, Daniel still found it in him to chuckle. “I-I’m sorry… and I love you” He finished as his eyes slowly closed, hand going limp as the dreaded sound of the flat line filled the room.

Seongwoo didn’t know what happened next, he only remembered crying as his world came crumbling down at the worst possible loss he experienced.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well this is... a strange way to celebrate legality LOL well I hope you enjoyed... whatever this is
> 
> Surprised you finished this but I hope it made sense ^^'  
> Again, sorry for the angst. I didn't know how this came to be ; v ;


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